I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
