If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
