i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
