Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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