I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
