Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Michael Bay diarrhea
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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