Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
so that wasnt chicken after all
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Randomize
