physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
