Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
