ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
