Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
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