I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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