there's paper in my vomit.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
