'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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