Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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