Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
