she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
