well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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