thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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