i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
