I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
