Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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