If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
