suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
this will be a night to untag.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Randomize
