We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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