just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
