I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
