super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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