so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I could make wine with my vomit
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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