And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Randomize
