And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
