I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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