you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
