I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
