I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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