gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I wish there were birth control emojis
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
