Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
