I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
you had me at cake vodka
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize