Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
