i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The air was thick with penises
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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