She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
