DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
