I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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