i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
