shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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