i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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