so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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