I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
