youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
