She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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