There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
