Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
