Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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