pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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