I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize