I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
