I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
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