So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize