and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
