She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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